what i achieved. or...smth like that...

hmm..manage to improve some of my tennis skills...hah! right...

next..my insane exercise program is almost complete..few days to go..and all that hurts are my ribs.. =D..i'm seriously hoping that Line would read this after i'm healed..hahah..apparently i broke a rib..while swinging a bokuto..ahahah..i'm learning iaido! or smth like that..and since kuching has no care for japanese art of swords..i learnt it off the net..slowly..and there was a technique i wanted to learn..but i'm guessing i put too much power into it..^^ no worrries!

i've decided to buy a sax! altho you cant say its called achieving something..but i did put a'lot of thought into it..there was this dilemma about a laptop,saxophone and a HTC desire HD..that at least needs 2k..my sax needs 3k to 4k..and the laptop..well..it depends..so i chose the most expensive de! plus..i miss my sax..it feels good to play it during those warm quiet afternoons y'know.. =]

oh! and i've achieved probably the worst luck in my love life..ahahaha..not that it matters now..but still..knowing that i'm not compatible and is absolutely the worst possible partner a guy could ever have is..well..err...its not that bad...lol!

i'm worried..ah..well i don't think worrying is achieving smth but... TT what if i don't make it to the science side?!?! i'll seriously die! seriously!!

oh! and i learnt that you can legally have sex when you're 16..ahaaa...i think..or did i read wrong? ahh! don't get me wrong!! i was studying the law about the minimun age to ride a bike..they changed it to 17..pfft! there goes my freedom..*flutter* lol..and i came across that while searching..ah well..next year is gonna be interesting..maybe people would take me seriously when i tell them to play safe..hmm..i'm thinking of a certain couple right now...hehe

weird habit?

like any normal student..i sleep during the p.m's and go online/read/watch tv/gaming/do any other sort of daily thing during the a.m's..sooooo..i noticed i picked up an interesting habit..hahaha..i would brush my teeth while doing stuff..lets say..i'm fixing up a late night supper..one hand on the cereal..the other keeping the toothbrush from falling into the bowl..hahaha..cool right..xP..anyway..i nearly gave my dad a heart attack late one night..as you can see..my wardrobe consist of dark colors only..so imagine..waking up in the middle of the night to find a dark figure standing at one corner of the house.. wouldn't that just freak you out?.. x] oh..and you know..i never brush my teeth in the toilet..its always somewhere else in the house..well..it depends on what i'm doing at that time..hahah..i never pay full attention when it comes to brushing my teeth..that said..it seems like the only time i pay attention to something is when i'm losing to a boss in one of Dante's inferno bosses..ugh..*for those who don't play ps3 games..well..its a game! it's based on a book written long ago! and it's awesome! so to the dude who created the quote..'video games could rot your mind'..screw you!! bet you lost every single game you played..that includes pacman! hmmph..xP*

What I have to say..

As i ran under the cold rain,

Listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops,

and little creatures scurrying into their homes,

As the green embraced mother nature,

I couldn't help but feel the sense of longing and isolation..

As the rain got heavier,

I felt a sharp pain..

an old enemy coming back to haunt me..

Sitting down on the cold pavement,

Trying to ease the pain..

I looked up into the sky,

It looked peaceful,

sleeping soundly under a grey blanket,

As if there is no worry in the world..

Could i be like that?..

back to my carefree days when my smile was genuine?

The cold wind blowing into my face,

sending chills down my spine

as if trying to stab me with it's icy cold dagger..

Sitting there feeling that sadness in my heart,

I looked up into the sky and asked..

where?!..I stood there for you all..soaking up your tears..listening to your fears..

I lent you my shoulder! my time!..and i asked nothing in return..

but when i need someone most..

where did all of you go?..

The worst day of my life?

Someone asked me that question..honestly..i'm 15..not 51 so i cant answer that..yet..but so far..the worst day was on 8th July 2010..i went out to watch eclipse with..a certain person..not a date..just a friendly movie marathon in mbo..haha..i have a membership card..so i bought two child tickets right..like any Chinese would. hehe..so yea..the seats i chose..one was busted..and of course..we looked for the usher and told him bout it..we got new seats..yea..thrilled..then he came back..he said you guys aren't children..stares at us for a while and ask..what are we gonna do now? i can shoo you out for this..then i was like..crap..eclipse bo! so like any kid who's nervous..i said..okay! i'll pay you..how much? he thought for a while..and said that we have to pay rm4..tsk..we bought tickets to watch despicable me before all the eclipse crap started..so yea..his friend ask us to pay 3..so bull man..he was all smiley-smiley when he took out his wallet..pfft..he should really get man-raped..then right..the movie was in 3D..yet..no effect at all..well..the only effect it gave me was a headache and frustration..so yeah..utter bogus..After that..i went to mph..it was raining that day..so i wore a jacket..i bought a book that costs me alot..i put it in my jacket..and some lady was staring at me like i stole it..tsk..i have a membership card okay! why would i steal? seriously..haih..hypocrites..so yea..that was my worst day..so far.. =]

i just saw it yesterday..dint even know it was a movie..until yesterday..lol..i wonder whr have i been..anyway..i don't understand why it got bad reviews..i mean..this guy is hot!..lol plus the movie's awesome! cz well..a lot of blood..and dismembered body parts.. hahah..this poster's very ironic..you can see rain..so..yeah..don't have to explain la hor..if you know that dude's name.. =]

he so hot rite..and the way he speak English is so very sexy..hahaha..my gosh..now i know why shin yean likes Koreans..lol

Two reasons why i can't be proud of Malaysia.

No..this is not political talk..just my normal ranting.. =]

1. They suck in football..so..badly...yeah...honestly..if team Malaysia would actually get a Brazilian coach..and were to end up being as good as Brazil.. i would totally support them to the ends of time..if..i wasn't dead when they finally figured out their problem..

2. Racism..yeah..i'm not racist..but sometimes i can be..but then..if Malaysia dint suck so badly in football..it wont be a problem..honestly! so here's a deal..get a coach! then don't suck..at least get into the semi-finals..and eventually get the world cup to start here..i will be the biggest fan of Malaysia..so big! that no one could downgrade the Malaysian name..but...yeah....can go check wiki..the world cup record..is..downgrading..

Music

okay..music..what's with today's music?can i ask? to anyone who actually likes jason derulo's in my head..what the hell?! he's singing about fantasying about having sex...izit just me? or that kinda sound like a pervert singing? tsk..bet you all would be like..yeah so? i like the music..got a problem with that? well as for a matter of fact..yes..i do..its disgusting..

Another example..akon..right now..he's well..singing abt sex too..and Flo rida right round..practically the same thing.. yea sure nice background music..== now..i dont mean to offend anyone who likes it..but yeah..my opinion..my blog..my post..got a problem? go solve it! if not..then shut the hell up..

i can honestly bet that none of my friends know ppl like Leonard Cohen..if they do..then soul mates really do exist..if i were to do a survey..i'm sure only less than 20% of the popularity listens to elvis..yeah..bet you guys would go like..ohh! this sucks? what the hell is this?! yeah..if ur the type that like catchy chorus and don't bother less abt the lyrics..then its exactly the same as being deaf..honestly deaf ppl would have a better taste in music than you..

Pretty sure no one listens to Beethoven anymore..without being forced to listen to it.. yeah..honestly.. civilization..is not that civil..i'm a very pessimistic person..and this..just proves that mankind..don't deserve a second chance..but what the heck..i'm a mere mortal..who cares abt what i think..everyone thinks they deserve a second chance..blablabla..can i ask why? why do you think so? what have YOU done to deserve anything? nawh...nothing much important..so shut ur whining and just accept every shit life throws at you..just..move on!

Rant..

To all of you who think ur life is so boring right now..mine's worse. hahah..i havent seen the sunlight in...*counting* uhh..5 days? yeah..crazy rite..no.mostly pathetic..i could sit in my room all day playing medal of honour 1,2,3,and 4..lol..i got a whole collection..i even got indiana jones..lol dumb rite..before the hols..i was like..gotta finish pk project..gotta learn tennis..gotta polish up my skateboarding..hah! my skateboard is under a pile of clothes..i think?..my tennis racquet..is hanging somewhr in my room..my laptop is on..i'm on msn since the 1st..appearing off..my hp went flat this morning..dint bother..

yeah..if i were to go out..bet i'd be like..'help! my eyes! someone! turn off the sun!' lol...then the humans passing by would be like..'think we should report her?' 'its so sad..seeing so many insane ppl these days' yeah..even at school..ppl think i need counselling..tsk..sorry line..sitting with me this year must have sucked..having to put up with all my crazy..

like the tittle..i'm ranting random stuff abt hw pathetic my life is..now..lalala..i wanna go MPH..but then..if do..maybe i'll get dragged out by security or smth..heh..wont that be interesting? whoosh!

I'm a scoleciphobic..yeah..if you duno what it means..just look it up..i guess its a rare case? maybe not..but yeah..i'm sure hell is infested with it..so i'll be a good girl now..but then..gardens have them too...tsk..recently..i've caught the flu..so i decided to quarantine myself..hehe..

lets hope i dont start eating ppl..if you know what i mean..=] i told my parents i wanted to go work..they laughed at me..haih..so hopeless..even to my parents..i miss cloudo..my dog gave birth to 9 pups..so erm..i got 13 dogs now? crazy rite..i think i'm allergic to my bro..hahah all the more reasons to avoid him.. =] i'm on medication now..i've been asleep half of the day dy..then gotta wake to take my meds..then go sleep again..so basically..i'm sleeping throughout my hols? lol..look line! i'm really hibernating!

Pissed..

I'm on the verge of getting banned from the internet..why? its bcz my dad saw some video in youtube abt a psychopath raping a girl then killing her..yeah..i dont blame him from trying to ban me..i mean like..if i were a parent..i would too..i'd rather wrap my children in a protective blanket than let them know of this crap..but the biggest flaw is that if he does that..i would be so vulnerable to this psycho world..well..at least i'm not..but whenever i hear of this thing..or when i watch a movie..and ppl got raped..i would be so shaken up..i'd have nightmares..maybe i'm just being vain..but the way i think is diff from other ppl..i guess..my level of imagination makes those scenes look so vivid..my dreams..they stick in my head..playing over and over again..i may be on the verge going insane..but thats not i want to talk abt now..

What i'm asking now is..well..why rape? why cant you just go up to prostitute? scared of getting HIV..then use a condom..or whatever..but why rape? those poor innocent girls..yeah..maybe they have done horrible things in their life..but none of them deserved it..thr was once..4 old men raped a 14 year old..altho they dint kill her..but they practically destroyed her life..why? just because of lust? tsk..then we're all gone to hell..soon..very soon..and i hope..God wont forgive us...

I want one!

I'm totally crazy abt these stuff..this is a psp-go..rm900..so damn expensive rite..T.T

Im Frustrated! Gah!

It's frustrating cause i don't know why!

England Provision Squad list!

Gk Robert Green-From West Ham United

Gk David James- he's from Portsmouth

Gk Joe Hart- this fella is from Birmingham City..lol with him in this team..anyth could happen!

Leighton Baines- Everton's player

Gareth Barry- Manchester City

Darren Bent- Sunderland's striker!

Jamie Carragher- Yay! He's in! lol..Liverpool's defender

Michael Carrick- pfft..MU de..

Ashley Cole- He plays for Chelsea..

Joe Cole- also from Chelsea..

Peter Crouch- This dude plays for Tottenham..

Michael Dawson- erm? he acted in LOST rite?..ohh wrong dude..

Jermain Defoe- Tottenham de..

RIO FERDINAND- Altho from MU de..But he not bad lah..

STEVEN GERRARD- Woooo! Go LIVERPOOL!!

Emile Heskey- from aston villa..not much of a fan..

Tom Huddlestone- From tottenham fc..he's 23! =]

Adam Johnson- from Mancester City

Glen Johnson- Yay! another dude from Liverpool!

Ledley King- Tottenham?

FRANK LAMPARD- Chelsea de..this guy's a monster man

Aaron Lennon- Tottenham..

James Milner- Aston Villa?

Scott Parker- West Ham United..

WAYNE ROONEY- Alfonsa's Fav player..From MU de..

JOHN TERRY- As scary as lampard if they were against liverpool..
Matt Upson- Another player from West Ham United

Theo Walcott- Arsenal!

Stephen Warnock- he's from Aston Villa

Shaun Wright-Phillips- errr...from mancester city?

Yeah..anyone could look it up if they wanted to..but i was just too addicted..Plus with all the interesting ppl in this team..i wonder if they could go up against brazil..hehe..i'm gonna do whatever it takes to go watch the fifa world cup england vs USA match on 12th june in south Africa! ...but then..maybe i cant..haiz...bummer..

What I Need..

DISTRACTIONS..

Ahhh...Daydreaming works...

TEMPTATION..

Mmmm...who could resist...

YOU...

Is there a need to say more?..

results on being high on caffeine

-Every morning, after I peel open each eyelid, I offer a silent thank you to the genius who invented coffee. We know where it came from, but not who actually had the brilliant idea to grind up the beans and make a drink. I'm not what you-or anyone else-would call a morning person . The man who invented coffee. Do not misunderstand me, I am not a coffee addict. I just love coffee-

I got that from google..ahahaha..my fellow coffee lovers! when doomsday comes..we shall sit on the front porch and drink coffee! bwahahahaha...

Things I apparently hate..

1. Do not! i repeat! DO NOT! mess up my hair! i mean like..yeah..sometimes humans see the compulsively disordered anime freak torture me with it..thats cz i did something wrong..or smth like that..but then..if you ever think about messing it up for the sake of fun. I WILL BITE UR HEAD OFF! LITERALLY!

2. If you cant stand sarcasm..bug off..cz..if you happen to be dumb enough to not know that I am very sarcastic..here's a fact. i AM!..geez..

3. Dont ever! touch my specs..if you committed a crime..leave ur fingerprints somewhere else where ppl actually care enough to hand you over to the cops.. Well i dint literally mean the obsessive compulsive disordered anime freak sitting next to me.. since she is compulsively disordered.

4. Dude! Shut up! if you cant stand me..then go sit down somewhr..Dont go complaining it randomly..I might actually throw something at you..

5. Dont go asking me stupid questions like..are you wearing contacts? tsk. Have you EVER seen anyone who has dotted contacts? my god! how dumb can you get?!

6. No..my eye is NOT artificial..i just went through eye surgery..and YES! IT IS POSSIBLE..so shut ur yap if you dont believe it..geez..why bother asking anyway?

So to anyone else besides the obsessive compulsively disordered anime freak sitting next to me..Consider this as a warning.. zero tolerance mode is COMING SOON!..

..its not like anyone actually reads this blog..so i'm free to say anyth i want..^^

Do not skate in ur room!

this is what happens...

hmmm...

someone once asked me..

why do we fear death?

The fact that i fear death is cause i'll be leaving behind my loved ones..and the fact that we are leaving what we achieved so far..our sweet and bad memories all left behind.. to a place..where our soul wanders for an eternity in darkness..but the thought of leaving behind the clear blue sky and the taste of freedom..is indisputably excruciating.

lalala~

You damned erotic assramming hamster f'cking Aids-Infested Cum-bubble crap eating pathetic tall stuck-up carpet-muncher bastard!...Go f'ck a flower!

hah..feel much better now.. =3

Horrible flashback

last night..as i was starring at the walls..i suddenly had a flashback..altho someone told me that after 7 years..your memories start to fade....but i could remember it clearly...i mean..who could forget?..it still haunted my parents..

10 to 11 years ago..i was in miri..and i had an excruciating accident..yeah..some of you may know that already..well..i dont recall anyth before that..but i was playing with a pen which now i love to use..=] then..the next thing i knew was that my eyes hurt..and my vision was bluring..and being four..i was fascinated..my mum saw what happened and panic..after that was a blur..now...it was pitch black...the mix of colours disappeared...but i could still hear clearly..i was conscious...

My dad came back then..i think he carried me to the car... as we were on our way to hospital..i start to see black and white..it was quite awesome at the time..the sky was grey...the car was grey...the sun..oh the sun..its like well..i cant seem to explain it..hahah..but it was pretty...very.

Now..the scariest part came..6 to 8 'dark humans' was pushing me..i was on something soft..and the light..it hurt my eyes...then..they put me in a room..so many hands..i saw alot of ppl staring at me..and my mum..i could never forget the look on her face...and the 'dark humans' started pushing me again..then i heard something push open up front..den i saw my mum outside... one of the 'dark humans' asked her to leave the room..

there was this annoying light that i have to stare up too...i saw the dark humans start coming closer..then..it was pitch black again..when i woke up..thr was this pain on left eye..and an annoying thing stuck up my nose..the smell of medicine was overwhelming... worse part was..the pillow reeks..hehe..

untitled.

It seems only yesterday i used to believe

there was nothing under my skin but light.

if you cut me i would shine.

but now when i fall upon the sidewalks of life,

i skin my knees. I bleed.

-Billy Collins. On turning Ten-

All day long he was docile, intelligent, good

though sometimes changing to a darker mood

he seemed hypocritical, could tell bitter lies,

in the dark he saw dots of colour behind closed eyes,

clenched his fist,

put his tongue out at his elder brother...

-Artur Rimbaud. The poet at seven years old-

'what is it?' harry asked shakily

'this? This is called a pensieve,' said Dumbledore.

'I sometimes find, and i am sure you know the feeling, that i simply have too many thoughts

and memories crammed into my mind.

-J.k Rowling. Harry potter and the Goblet of fire-

And leafing through old books we sometimes find

A dark, oracular phrase is underlined.

you were once here, but in time out of mind.

- Rainer Maria Rilke. Improvisations from Capri in winter III-

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss. consume.

-Romeo and Juliet. Act II. scene VI-

oh please! he felt his heart say to him. oh please let me leave!

-John Irving. The cider house rules-

HERE IS A SMALL FACT. you are going to die.

-Markus Zusak. The book thief-

Where did this love come from?

I dont know; it came to me like a thief in the night...

All i could hope was that my crimes were as monstrous that the love was no bigger than a mustard- seed in the shadow of them, and i wished I'd committed even greater ones to hide

it more deeply still... But the mustard-seed had taken root and was growing and little green

shoots was splitting my heart wide open..

-Phillip Pullman. The Amber Spyglass-

You cannot fully read a book without being alone. But through this very solitude you become intimately involved with people whom you might never have met otherwise, either because they have been dead for centuries or they spoke languages you cannot understand. And nonetheless,

they have become your closest friends, your wisest advisors, the wizards that hypnotize you,

the lovers you have always dreamed of.

-Antonio Munoz Molina, The power of the pen-

'Fire and water' he said 'don't really mix. You could say they're incompatible. But when they do love each other, they love passionately'

-Dustfinger. Inkspell-

But look at the stories people press in books!

They may last longer, yes, but they breathe only when someone opens it.

They are sound pressed between pages, and only a voice can bring them back to life!

-Fenoglio. Inkspell-

The heart was a weak, change-able thing, bent on nothing but love, and there could be no more

fatal mistake than to make it your master . Reason must be in charge. It comforted you for the heart's foolishness, it sang mocking songs about love, derided it as a whim of nature, transient as flowers. so why do we still keep following our heart?

-Violante. Inkdeath-

Once you cared about a person,

it was impossible to be logical about them anymore.

-Bella. New moon-

and lastly...my fav..hehe.... =]

Life sucks, and then you die.

Yeah. I should be so lucky.

- Jacob Black. Breaking Dawn-

My daddy..

hmmm...my daddy has big plans for the future..like..maybe selling this house filled with animals..and moving into a new one..but..flood prone area worr..who would wanna buy? but he said he has a scheme... =] then..he bought a plot of land...only god knows wad he wanna do with it..but he did say something abt goats..hmmmm...guess im gonna have pet goats..woah! wait till i tell alfonsa! lol...my daddy looks like a mafia gang leader..hahah..and my mummy dresses like a model..but then..daddy isnt the mafia gang leader..of cz not..hmmmm...he likes animals alot..especially doggies..he adores them...he's a chelsea fan..on the last world cup he was on Italy's side while i was on Brazil's...while we were argue-ing over who would win, my mummy and my bro went shopping..ironic ehh...thats my family..^^ you could say..i'm exactly like him..but..not really..i guess..erm...ohh...i learnt something just now..my granddad..he bcame a malaysian citizen bcz of the jus soli thingy..hahah thank you british! at least im not stuck in the over populated spitting china..no offence..anyway..daddy just scored a 1.6 million, 1.765 million and a 1.4 million project..erm..building a harbor from sri aman to erm..somewhr..lol..all he have to do is visit every month and organize the financial stuff..then..he has to organize another project to build a school and dorms? near it..so after that..he's gonna buy a mazda RX8 for mummy..or was a Mercedes?..well its for her b'day..so yeah..quite long from now..we're still deciding on it..=D hmmm..you think i could use this for oral? uhhh..minus the b'day part..hmmmm

My darlings...

words...they could not explain hw cute my little darlings are...so i figured...since a picture has a thousand silent words..it could tell you hw cute they actually are..and yes! i was right!! xD

My b'day pressie..=]

yeah! yesterday my b'day mah..went out..saw a freakin shooting star! anyway..this morning..went to rupert rage's(black brigade)..woah..the boards thr..are like..woah! hahah.. bought one..and its very special..cz..its custom..made..by ME! whoosh! den den den..my board arh..its all black and white..cool eh..i chose the deck den the trucks..bearings..blablabla..den i go assemble it myself..i did it in the shop..so yeah..cost like..250++ and i was too intimidated by the other skaters too take a pic..they all old old de!..hehe..i took a few pics tho..from home la..assemble everyth except the bolts mah.. xD the bolt..wad's cool is..that thr's a white spongy thingy inside.. =D

the top layer was suppose to be white..but ady put grip tape..but still..it looks cool..x]

black wheels baby!! xD

after i changed the trucks..x]

side view..pretty hardcore ehh..well..its a black brigade design..so yeah..

my list of things i want for 2010.. xD

okayy...1st..i want skategear..knee pads..elbow pads..i dont really care if i have one or not..but...yeah...some1 would torture my hair if i dont get them..but sadly..they cost Rm89 perset...

next..a helmet..and again..the same reason..hmmm..i want the matt grey one..=D

okayyy! this is a limited edition spitfire 52mm skate wheel..well..wheels..but then..limited as they are..they cost rm110..so yeah..haiz..

this is a deck..not just any deck..its a plan-b collin mcKay size 7.75 skateboard deck..sweet ehh...yeah..my dream come true if i get one..but then..its 200bucks..so..yeahh...

now this..is wad...i call..limited edition! that is a chocolate 15th year anniversary skateboard deck..size 8 and yes..200 bucks..haiz..wish i had paypal..ofcz you cant get this in kuching..this place dont care much about the skateboarding society...

My so-called house of horror!

Cny is coming..as usual..my mum would think of a fantastic colour to paint the house..this year..she..wanted..to..paint..the..whole..house..PINK!!..so yes.. it would be a house of horror..the exterior of the house is dark pink..den the interior...ugh... the couch is pink..with its pink little pluffy pillows ..so..you..cant..imagine..wad..was..my..expression..when..i..came..home.. at 1st..it looked like that..after that..the horror came.....

she even dressed my pups in pink.....and red....

back wall....bloody hell!!

Not a bad idea..

my christmas present..a trip to the unexpected

on christmas...i had to attend a wedding at the 18th mile..so yeah..anyway..found that i am apparently related to...shhhh...hehe...if you really wanna knw..go ask me personally..=D well..its sm1 frm green road..so yeah...anyway..after the wedding..my mum suddenly brought me to the 28th mile...i was like..woah..still got house up here..on the way thr..she was telling me abt my cousins up here..they have huge orchards..orchardSS..imagine that! more than one..anyway..went thr..heh..they dont seem to be very fond of me..but at least one or 2 is nice..it was fruiting season..so they ask me to follow them pick the fruits..lol.havent finish picking half of the fruits in one of the orchards..i was already dead tired..sweating like mad.
muddy road..haiz..
Durian tree..apparently i was surrounded by them..hahah..durian falling..is so..scary..its like..a hawk falling at full speed and landing with a loud thud..den other durians start falling..so yeah..run for cover!
this is a rubber tree seed..pretty ehh..
these..erm..im not sure what their called..but i knw its melons..and its..a bit too large for its size..=]

what i've been up to lately...

nice book..