Depression.

what is there to say?..from my point of view..life is a cruel thing..the world is in chaos..humanity has gone insane..what can i do buy wallow in sadness? judged by those whom i once looked up..why do we have to hate? why judge? the Christians..they should know better nt to..why can a 16 year old understand the true meaning of life while you cant? wars created over a little misunderstanding..and you say that i am immature! why? because of religion? why cant you understand?! that we're all the same? you say being gay is a sin..are you stupid? do you not understand the bible? stupid fuck..do you want an effin' 16 year old to explain it all to you?! read the ten commandments my dear fuck..god says to not commit adultery..and in sodom they did! thats why god decided to do it..because they broke one of his ten commandments..not because they were gay..so please don't lead humanity into chaos anymore..i'm sick of it..

Choices.

I've reached a point in my life..where i'm utterly confused. i was so determined to follow that path leading to engineering..now..i'm just..lost..apparently there are two paths spread out in front of me..and i don't know which is the right one..maybe i could do what my physics tuition teacher says..take two majors..but..wont take just drag me to hell? literally..push me to the brink of insanity..if i were to take two majors..then now..i should be in both art and science side..hahaha..crazy..i like sports too..hmm..three majors? oh my...that would be utterly insane..anyways..Happy Chinese New Year everybody..

English Homework..

The 1st to give homework during the 1st day of class was english..and it was about weddings..compare them between races..after that need write essay...i chose the chinese vs malay wedding..hahah..anyway..as i research deeper into the traditional weddings..i find the malay weddings awfully cheerful..its like..whole kampung help..gotong-royong..family relatives come and congratulate..blah..while the chinese de right..oh god..this sentence just made my heart ache..'Sometimes the bride was borne out in a wooden ‘cage’ with her feet padlocked –; presumably a remnant from rougher times with extremely reluctant brides.' haih..to the chinese..getting married is more about status than love and happiness...its like..wealth is all they think about..tho i'm a chinese..but i'm awfully disappointed in my inhumane ancestors..apparently..if you gimme a choice..i'd happily choose a malay wedding..luckily in modern times..parents dont sell off their daughters for family status anymore..maybe in some part of china..which should be banned!..seriously people! maybe i take these things too seriously..thats why i cant watch drama's..the tv might get thrown out. ^^

what i achieved. or...smth like that...

hmm..manage to improve some of my tennis skills...hah! right...

next..my insane exercise program is almost complete..few days to go..and all that hurts are my ribs.. =D..i'm seriously hoping that Line would read this after i'm healed..hahah..apparently i broke a rib..while swinging a bokuto..ahahah..i'm learning iaido! or smth like that..and since kuching has no care for japanese art of swords..i learnt it off the net..slowly..and there was a technique i wanted to learn..but i'm guessing i put too much power into it..^^ no worrries!

i've decided to buy a sax! altho you cant say its called achieving something..but i did put a'lot of thought into it..there was this dilemma about a laptop,saxophone and a HTC desire HD..that at least needs 2k..my sax needs 3k to 4k..and the laptop..well..it depends..so i chose the most expensive de! plus..i miss my sax..it feels good to play it during those warm quiet afternoons y'know.. =]

oh! and i've achieved probably the worst luck in my love life..ahahaha..not that it matters now..but still..knowing that i'm not compatible and is absolutely the worst possible partner a guy could ever have is..well..err...its not that bad...lol!

i'm worried..ah..well i don't think worrying is achieving smth but... TT what if i don't make it to the science side?!?! i'll seriously die! seriously!!

oh! and i learnt that you can legally have sex when you're 16..ahaaa...i think..or did i read wrong? ahh! don't get me wrong!! i was studying the law about the minimun age to ride a bike..they changed it to 17..pfft! there goes my freedom..*flutter* lol..and i came across that while searching..ah well..next year is gonna be interesting..maybe people would take me seriously when i tell them to play safe..hmm..i'm thinking of a certain couple right now...hehe

weird habit?

like any normal student..i sleep during the p.m's and go online/read/watch tv/gaming/do any other sort of daily thing during the a.m's..sooooo..i noticed i picked up an interesting habit..hahaha..i would brush my teeth while doing stuff..lets say..i'm fixing up a late night supper..one hand on the cereal..the other keeping the toothbrush from falling into the bowl..hahaha..cool right..xP..anyway..i nearly gave my dad a heart attack late one night..as you can see..my wardrobe consist of dark colors only..so imagine..waking up in the middle of the night to find a dark figure standing at one corner of the house.. wouldn't that just freak you out?.. x] oh..and you know..i never brush my teeth in the toilet..its always somewhere else in the house..well..it depends on what i'm doing at that time..hahah..i never pay full attention when it comes to brushing my teeth..that said..it seems like the only time i pay attention to something is when i'm losing to a boss in one of Dante's inferno bosses..ugh..*for those who don't play ps3 games..well..its a game! it's based on a book written long ago! and it's awesome! so to the dude who created the quote..'video games could rot your mind'..screw you!! bet you lost every single game you played..that includes pacman! hmmph..xP*

What I have to say..

As i ran under the cold rain,

Listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops,

and little creatures scurrying into their homes,

As the green embraced mother nature,

I couldn't help but feel the sense of longing and isolation..

As the rain got heavier,

I felt a sharp pain..

an old enemy coming back to haunt me..

Sitting down on the cold pavement,

Trying to ease the pain..

I looked up into the sky,

It looked peaceful,

sleeping soundly under a grey blanket,

As if there is no worry in the world..

Could i be like that?..

back to my carefree days when my smile was genuine?

The cold wind blowing into my face,

sending chills down my spine

as if trying to stab me with it's icy cold dagger..

Sitting there feeling that sadness in my heart,

I looked up into the sky and asked..

where?!..I stood there for you all..soaking up your tears..listening to your fears..

I lent you my shoulder! my time!..and i asked nothing in return..

but when i need someone most..

where did all of you go?..

The worst day of my life?

Someone asked me that question..honestly..i'm 15..not 51 so i cant answer that..yet..but so far..the worst day was on 8th July 2010..i went out to watch eclipse with..a certain person..not a date..just a friendly movie marathon in mbo..haha..i have a membership card..so i bought two child tickets right..like any Chinese would. hehe..so yea..the seats i chose..one was busted..and of course..we looked for the usher and told him bout it..we got new seats..yea..thrilled..then he came back..he said you guys aren't children..stares at us for a while and ask..what are we gonna do now? i can shoo you out for this..then i was like..crap..eclipse bo! so like any kid who's nervous..i said..okay! i'll pay you..how much? he thought for a while..and said that we have to pay rm4..tsk..we bought tickets to watch despicable me before all the eclipse crap started..so yea..his friend ask us to pay 3..so bull man..he was all smiley-smiley when he took out his wallet..pfft..he should really get man-raped..then right..the movie was in 3D..yet..no effect at all..well..the only effect it gave me was a headache and frustration..so yeah..utter bogus..After that..i went to mph..it was raining that day..so i wore a jacket..i bought a book that costs me alot..i put it in my jacket..and some lady was staring at me like i stole it..tsk..i have a membership card okay! why would i steal? seriously..haih..hypocrites..so yea..that was my worst day..so far.. =]

i just saw it yesterday..dint even know it was a movie..until yesterday..lol..i wonder whr have i been..anyway..i don't understand why it got bad reviews..i mean..this guy is hot!..lol plus the movie's awesome! cz well..a lot of blood..and dismembered body parts.. hahah..this poster's very ironic..you can see rain..so..yeah..don't have to explain la hor..if you know that dude's name.. =]

he so hot rite..and the way he speak English is so very sexy..hahaha..my gosh..now i know why shin yean likes Koreans..lol

Two reasons why i can't be proud of Malaysia.

No..this is not political talk..just my normal ranting.. =]

1. They suck in football..so..badly...yeah...honestly..if team Malaysia would actually get a Brazilian coach..and were to end up being as good as Brazil.. i would totally support them to the ends of time..if..i wasn't dead when they finally figured out their problem..

2. Racism..yeah..i'm not racist..but sometimes i can be..but then..if Malaysia dint suck so badly in football..it wont be a problem..honestly! so here's a deal..get a coach! then don't suck..at least get into the semi-finals..and eventually get the world cup to start here..i will be the biggest fan of Malaysia..so big! that no one could downgrade the Malaysian name..but...yeah....can go check wiki..the world cup record..is..downgrading..

Music

okay..music..what's with today's music?can i ask? to anyone who actually likes jason derulo's in my head..what the hell?! he's singing about fantasying about having sex...izit just me? or that kinda sound like a pervert singing? tsk..bet you all would be like..yeah so? i like the music..got a problem with that? well as for a matter of fact..yes..i do..its disgusting..

Another example..akon..right now..he's well..singing abt sex too..and Flo rida right round..practically the same thing.. yea sure nice background music..== now..i dont mean to offend anyone who likes it..but yeah..my opinion..my blog..my post..got a problem? go solve it! if not..then shut the hell up..

i can honestly bet that none of my friends know ppl like Leonard Cohen..if they do..then soul mates really do exist..if i were to do a survey..i'm sure only less than 20% of the popularity listens to elvis..yeah..bet you guys would go like..ohh! this sucks? what the hell is this?! yeah..if ur the type that like catchy chorus and don't bother less abt the lyrics..then its exactly the same as being deaf..honestly deaf ppl would have a better taste in music than you..

Pretty sure no one listens to Beethoven anymore..without being forced to listen to it.. yeah..honestly.. civilization..is not that civil..i'm a very pessimistic person..and this..just proves that mankind..don't deserve a second chance..but what the heck..i'm a mere mortal..who cares abt what i think..everyone thinks they deserve a second chance..blablabla..can i ask why? why do you think so? what have YOU done to deserve anything? nawh...nothing much important..so shut ur whining and just accept every shit life throws at you..just..move on!